Hello there,

We've all watched videos and DVDs of performers all over the world. They have some pretty good one-liners and jokes. Harry Allen's book of one-liners is full of such things. However not all of them can be used in local context. Our local audience will most probably be confused and the performer will look like he's been reading too many joke books.

How about a few tried and tested jokes and one-liners our locals can understand? Anyone has any to share?

I keep a small book of possible funny lines I can use...here's a few from the little green book:

Spec: "I've seen this trick before!!"
Magi: "No way! I just bought this trick from a guy who said he's never shown it to anyone before! He must be lying!"

I've always wanted to die in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like te passengers in his car.

"I'll always remember the last words of my grandfather... SHIT, A TRUCK!!!"

"See, the cards are REALLY MESSED UP, just like me"

"Look behind you!! It has WALLS!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!"

I use plenty more one-liners and stuff like these in local contexts, but I can't for the love of God remember them for now... burr. I'll try and dump them out here later.

-Kev

I knew you'd be the first to post on this thread Kev..hahah!
Don't quite get the Walls joke though...what walls? In what context?

misdirection? or just out of point...

It's just total irreverance... an offbeat kinda thing to make people go "WUH???"

Meh... are there any other people who have cool one-liners?

"I once played poker with Tarot cards... I got a full house, and 4 people died" - Steve Martin

-Kev

audience: wad the *toot*!
magi: i'll take tat as a compliment

1.
Spect: i've seen this trick before
You: Yes, me too.
2.
You: (displaying 2 coins, 2 balls or whatever that are similar) These 2 are EXACTLY the same... especially this one (pointing to one of the objects)
:D

Lolz... cool cool... but i dun see much local flavour here...