The typical monday blues. Everyone has them. But today was a big blow to me. After a long day's work and finally getting to meet my bestfriend whom I haven't seen in ages, a piece of devastating news reaches me.

"Miss Goh passed away this morning. Wake till Thursday. Funeral on Friday. For more details, pls see obituaries tomorrow."

GK Goh.

Who was she? Was she the most popular teacher? The most out-going? The prettiest? Trendiest? Most approachable? The one that everyone ha a crush on?

No.

She was a petite chemistry nut who always shuttled around with her thick stacks of books and files, a strict spinster who wore the same dull cheongsams and a no-nonsense look, never cracking a joke but instead, would find appropriate moments to share anecdotes of life to a sleepy class.

She also made my life a misery. I spent almost every afternoon in ‘detention’ with her, as we both struggled to improve my chemistry as I was the weakest pure science student in the level. She would constantly chide me “to be humble” as back then, I was an extremely angsty teenager who was constantly getting into trouble and flunking my subjects. I hated her.

I thought she hated me.

But she had nice things to say about me during the parents-teachers sessions. I was surprised. And it was only after I left school, and stepped into the ‘real world’ when I realized she was probably the most dedicated teacher I ever had. I was so lucky to have her, a passionate teacher who would sacrifice her time to make sure an ungrateful student like me could scrape through the exams and become a decent person in society.

She passed away in the morning of Mon, 7 Aug 06. She had cancer. And this is the worst part.

For some reason, I suddenly missed her about one or two months back. It stemmed from a simple question of ‘What do you still remember about Secondary school?’. I don’t remember her classes, or the periodic table, or the equations and molecular drawings. But I do remember her unique drawl of “Ning, be humble will you?” which didn’t make sense to me then as I threw my goth/ angst ridden teenage punk attitude around just because I could. She made me a better person. I just didn’t know but she said she saw great things in me, which now just make me tear when I recall that old memory.

I miss her. I wished I did something when I asked my sister if she still taught in school. I wish I did something. Went to the general office to get her address to write her. Or call her. To talk. To say nice words.

To tell her thank you. And sorry. For being such a brat when all she was trying to do was to love her weakest student.

It was such an irony that it was arrange we watched ‘Click’ the movie this evening (planned way before I got the text message from my ex-classmate). It’s meant to be a comedy but I really cried.

Life is short. Sometimes shorter than what we expect it to be. I hate to regret things and this is one that I hate myself for. The only way I get to see her again will be at her wake and funeral this week. It’s too late for “if only”. It’s just so ironic. The timing is.

I hope she rests in peace. I hope she knows she is so loved by all her students. I hope she really is in a better place right now. And I hope everyone who reads this message realizes how precious and short and important life is.

Treasure every second of it and make sure you do the things that matter.

Ning

Yea, sometimes, Someone precious just disappears and you are left with such a sudden gratification, such a sudden enormous of emotions to her but it's too late.

Never too late when she's alive, but it's a second late when she's gone.

Ning, Live your life to the fullest to show the appreciation... Meanwhile, don't be sad will you? Smile. :)

Ah, my condolences.

Life is short, we should all treasure whatever we have and the people around us, for all we know they might be gone in a second. Just a few weeks ago my best friend whom i had for 11 years was gaming with me in the early morning at around 4am.
All of a sudden at 6am, i received a call. His lungs have collasped and he's undergoing a operation, it was life threatening and critical.

For a moment i thought i've lost my best friend, as i crossed my fingers and sat in the hospital, memories flashed through my mind, times we had fun and the sad moments of life when our girlfriends dumped us, we have had someone to whine to. When either of us are angry we throw our temper at each other.

That moment, sitting there made me realise What would happen tomorrow?
"Anything" was the response i saw in my head.

Thankfully, he recovered and is now up and walking, but he can never excercise for life anymore.

People, take care and treat everyone around you with respect, nobody owes you anything, what you reap is what you sow.

Ning, cheerup even though its difficult to. Definitely you wouldnt want her to see you in a devastated state. I'm trying to find the "sayang" emocon where you would always use on me but unfortunately its not available here. so here it goes "Sayang" .
=).

Ning.. Pat Pat.. Its okie. Its what we called life.

This do happened on me before, my lecturer passed away quite suddenly, due to cancer also. Thats why people around us keep telling us to treasure people around you, cause you never know what will happen tomorrow. More happiness, less sadness and it makes life simpler.

Deepest condolences go out to Miss Goh's family.

I had also just lost one of my dearest Math teacher 2 years ago, and it definitely came as a shock at that time. I had only just seen her in school because of our prom night, and a month later she sadly perished in a car accident while honeymoon-ing in New Zealand. It was just too sudden.

I know exactly how you feel Ning, having gone through almost the same situation as yours before (though the guy wasn't so much a teacher rather than someone who I can say have saved my life).

No point beating yourself up about it, and don't be regretting or blaming yourself for not making contact earlier etc.

Some things in life are just meant to be the way they are. You just got to be glad that while she was around, you had the chance to find out how wonderful she was, and that you were given the opportunity to have spent time with her.

Were there things that you would have done if you were given a second chance? Would you have done some things differently? Maybe, maybe not. If you had, then you wouldn't be where you are now, with the kind of memories you now own and the feelings you now hold.

You made an impression on her life, and she made an impression on yours. You made her smile once, and she made you smile once. Some people will never even come close to such an experience in their whole life.

Well, wherever she is, I'm sure she's be happy to know you remember her, and she'll live on in memories. And from what you've said of her character, I'm sure that is enough. Chin up girl! :)

If you're listening Uncle Syd, this is for you too. Thank you for everything. And sorry.

Hi Ning,

Pat pat... heads up my friend. Don't be sad, every living being in this world cannot escape birth, aging, sickness and death. Everything in the universe, be it your deck of cards, your mobilephone, a star, a planet, or a human life, it all goes through four phases of formation, existence, destruction and emptiness. This is something inevitable and this is life. Grasping upon the emotion of a lost loved one is a natural sentiment that makes us all human. Without this sentiment or emotion, life is not complete.

Life and death are not seen as mutually exclusive but as entirely in co-existence. Just like the day cannot exist without the night and the night cannot exist without the day. Hence, instead of grasping over the demise of our loved ones, we should learn to understand and let go. We should embrace it and reflect upon how he or she has touched our lives and made us who we are. Your teacher and you were able to cross path in this life and that was a god's send. Her teachings and advise to you are a god's gift. Whereever she is now, I'm sure she knows that the heart of her student is beating for her. Beautiful memories are locked for her wisdom and she has touched the lives of many. Including those who do not know her, because you over here made the connection.

Hence, smile my friend. As the saying goes. Yesterday was the past, tomorrow's the future and today's the Present. So we should make full use of this gift that we have. :)

PS: My heartfelt condolences to Miss Goh and family

Jerome

Well, the only thing that wont die is the great memories you have in your life. Sometime that you can keep with you forever, even till your time is up.

:)

Thanks guys. I'm back from my week plus long haitus, I'm alright now... the sadness and pain still lingers but it will fade, but her memory and those treasured moments will always remain.

^_^ Truly appreciate your kind words and comfort... Thank you!