hey,

Ive been performing magic for around 5 years now doing a variety of stuff like cards, mentalism and coin bending.

I read somewhere that most magicians start out as social misfits and I'm not sure how accurate it is but it was true for me.

I think im a lot more outgoing now and mature and creative but somehow to an extent magic doesnt make me popular, it only makes me famous.

Another thing I noticed was that performing magic regularly, informally for friends etc I felt like a cheapened myself and the art kinda like sleeping with anyone and everyone makes sex meaningless.

Has anyone felt that way, any solutions? Am I doing something wrong? For now Im taking a break from magic.

CSJ

"Another thing I noticed was that performing magic regularly, informally for friends etc I felt like a cheapened myself and the art kinda like sleeping with anyone and everyone makes sex meaningless."

I feel this way ALL the time whenever i'm with friends or just socializing with new people i meet. I'm not sure about the part where you said 'cheapening ownself' but i agree that magic itself should not be cheapened.

my 2 cents.

I think one thing you have to ask yourself is: Can you perform socially without resorting to magic? If one day, you no longer do magic will your friend still stay with you? Can you still be comfortable in socializing with strangers? If no, then I think you are too dependent on magic, and in a way cheapens it to a social tool, even if it is a very useful one. It can help at first but after that you shouldn't depend too much on it.

Social skills has nothing to do with magic. It has more to do with your personality. Social skills enhance your magic performance, but not the other way round.

As my football coach always tell us, "You don't play football to get fit, you get fit to play football."

Hey csjoshi, it's funny but I feel the same way as you, too!

Sometimes, my friends will ask me, "How come today not performing a magic trick?" This shows that I have become so famous for performing magic tricks for friends that they see me more as an entertainer than a friend. It has come to the point that I have to make a conscious effort to perform less frequently.

I think that magic can become a crutch in social situations. It is useful for breaking the ice, but cannot be used to sustain relationships of most kinds. Just my opinion. Thanks! ;)

hey guys,

Thanks for the replies so far. I recall posting on your respective posts as well =). Anyway what do you do if you have been so used to using magic as a crutch so far?

CSJ

Have a variety of other interests... it helps.
Don't let yourself be labelled as "the guy who (only) do magic."

For me, magic is not even my NO 1 passion (as evident by my technical abilities) and I rarely talk about magic to anybody outside of SMC.

Hi csjoshi.

I guess, stop performing magic at social situations totally? Sideline magic to just a hobby. If magic has become a crutch to you in social situations and you are nothing without it, perhaps you can try going out without your props or cards, etc and forbid yourself from doing magic. That way, you force yourself to learn to socialise without magic. I am in the same boat as you, I can understand. It may be very difficult at first, and you may be tempted to do magic with everyday objects such as coins, even if you deliberately left your cards/props at home. At least try to reduce the frequency.

Yup, like what muscleaxl said, have more interests. Sideline magic as a hobby, and get other hobbies. Music? Guitar? Sports? That way, you won't have "nothing to talk about".

If all else fails, perhaps you can try memorising things to talk about. I know this sounds crazy and fake. If you really don't know what to talk about, talk about the weather. That's a commonality. Then some interesting stories that you have memorised. Hopefully, while talking about all these, you have time to think about an interesting topic to talk about.

Hope this helps!

If you are able to interact with the audience during a magic presentation, that would probably indicate that you have the ability to interact well. What's stopping you from just interacting without magic? Perhaps a "Hi, *smile* how are you, will break the ice. After that, interaction should not be a problem if you are used to performing magic.

csjoshi, perhaps you can try to make magic a part of you and not the other way round. The focus should be on you or your personality.

Sometimes when i go out and don't feel like performing, i don't! Like what some of the other posters who said, cracking jokes and just simple simple chit chat can be just as satisfying to your social life.

These days i always talk about the weather (very cold), then divert to why it's so cold these days, have to stay at home. Ask them what they do at home? Got play mahjong? 'Tell' them you play mahjong and some poker. Make it interesting, tell them you are trying to find out better odds for getting a good hand. Proceed to perform your favourite 4 ace opener etc etc

Girls like tarot card ask them about it!! Tell them sometimes you can sense something in the future happening but not sure, proceed with your mentalism stuff lol

you get my point eh? :D Good luck. :lol: